Leaders that Love: RELATIONSHIPS
For the month of February, Monday Meditations will be exploring the topic of how LEADERS can show LOVE to the people around them.
1 Corinthians 13, and 1 John 4:7-21
To be covering the topic of “love” during February seems apropos. After all, Valentine’s Day is only a week away! While February seems to be a month to celebrate love, I think it might be a good idea to talk about one of the softer sides of leadership - how leaders can show love as a part of their role.
Over the course of my professional career, I have been able to take many courses that have taught me the skills necessary to perform excellently as a leader. Oftentimes, these courses promote specific ways to do things that get the best results. Some teach that empathy is needed to be a good leader. Some refer to being a servant-leader who can positively influence others. From conflict resolution to improving communication, all these courses tend to have one thing in common - they focus on building relationships with others as a way of increasing leadership influence and effectiveness. Yet, of all the courses being taught, I have yet to see one that teaches how to genuinely LOVE your team. Why is that? Perhaps it’s because the word “love” tends to be more accepted personally than professionally. Expressing love and affection in the office or workplace is not generally encouraged as it can usually land employees in awkward situations that result in visits to the HR office or worse. However, responding in loving (respectful) ways is always supported.
As I reflect on my time working with some great leaders, I can think of times when they responded to me in a loving way. At times, they showed me compassion for a personal situation I was going through. They showed patience as I was learning new skills. They took time to share their insights and experiences in a teachable moment. They treated me fairly when I required correction. They built a relationship with me that resulted in my commitment, loyalty, and motivation to bring my best every day.
I can also recall times when some leaders acted in ways that were anything but loving. They were sometimes harsh, impatient, self-centred, and treated me as a “means to their own success”. The relationship between us was very utilitarian and productivity-focused only. My value was based on successfully fulfilling a function and achieving high results in (and for) the organization. I was not recognized for the human qualities, strengths, and talents I brought to my role. The only relationship that existed between us was as “boss and worker” only. Were these leaders successful? In the reports and financial metrics, yes. Did they have the personal trust and commitment of the people under them to achieve even greater success? Not a chance.
Q: What are the attributes of a loving leader?
I wonder how many leaders take time to ask themselves, “How can I show love to those under my charge today”? How many even think in these terms?
1 Corinthians 13 is commonly referred to as “the LOVE chapter” in the bible. This passage is often used in romantic expositions and frequently referred to at weddings and marriage retreats. I think it’s so popular because
it provides a great checklist of the attributes that helps build a loving relationship with others.
What would happen if we applied these attributes through the filter of being a “loving leader”? How would we begin to see and develop relationships with those we work with?
Take a moment right now and read the passage.
If you would allow me this freedom, I would like to paraphrase this passage through the lens of leadership in this way:
Verses 1-3:
Even if I may be a great communicator, presenter, and orator, but don’t have love for others, it’s all just noise! If I am gifted with strategic thinking and forecasting abilities, deemed as brilliant by everyone around me, and can motivate others to do some great things, but didn’t love others, then nothing really matters. Even if I give to a corporate charity and am publicly recognized for it, but don’t do it with genuine love, it does nothing to build the value of the organization.
Verses 4 to 7 give us a great checklist for being a loving leader. This list includes the following:
Is patient and kind.
Is not jealous, boastful, proud, or rude.
Does not demand “my way or the highway”.
Is not irritable.
Keeps no record of wrongs.
Hates injustice.
Rejoices over the truth.
Never gives up.
Never loses faith.
Is always hopeful.
Endures through every circumstance.
Q: If you were to put your name in front of each of those attributes, which of the statements would be absolutely true about you? Somewhat true? Not true?
Thinking deeper on this topic, and using 1 John 4:7-8, 16-17 as a guide, we see that acting with love is a command (“let us love each other”.) We see that love first came from God and the best way we can express our commitment to our faith rooted in God is to show love to others. Yes, this even includes showing love to the people who work for (and with) us.
Building strong working relationships with those around us requires us to show love in many ways. Using the checklist from 1 Corinthians 13 as a guide, here are just some of the ways you can show love to your employees and co-workers:
Be patient with them.
Don’t steal credit from them - give them credit for their accomplishments.
Encourage them to share their thoughts.
Treat them with respect.
Keep a list of their successes and contributions.
Act fairly always.
Seek the truth in all things.
Motivate and encourage them.
Support them in their challenges.
Q: If the above list were provided to your team and they were to score you on the topic of being a “leader that loves”, how would you fare? Be honest. What will you do differently this week to show love as a leader?
Being a loving leader doesn’t mean we let our staff do whatever they want. Running a business is tough and sometimes “tough love” is required. We will continue to dive into this topic in the weeks ahead.
Prayer:
My God and loving Father, I thank you for giving me these words and thoughts today. I seldom think about being a loving leader as an expression of my faith and commitment to you. This week, please help me to see those areas where I might respond in unloving ways to those I work with. I ask that you be my spiritual advisor and teach me the most excellent ways to be a Godly leader. I approach you through your Son, Jesus. Amen.
Blessings always and all-ways,
Steve Shrout
President
Special Note:
If you enjoyed today’s message, then share it with someone. Also, use this content and questions as a discussion guide in your next Forum Group meeting.
Attached to this email is a printable PDF you can use to help with your meditation and reflection. I encourage you to print it, answer the questions and then keep it in a Corpath binder or folder for future reference and thought. You will receive a new PDF each week with each new Monday Meditation, and, over time, your binder will become a book representing your Corpath journey of BUSINESS thoughts, personal LIFE development and SPIRITUAL growth.
